Day One

Day One. It feels like the millionth time I’ve been here. Starting over. Feeling the sting of yet another failure, but knowing if I stop trying that’s really when I am defeated. It’s been over a decade of Day One’s.

I decided this time I want to keep a daily log of my journey, a sort of accountability, or maybe a record of where I go wrong. I feel like every time I go through this I learn something, I grow. I have all the tools to succeed, but I know this battle has deep roots buried, and my triggers are ever present. I honestly don’t even know what I weigh. I weighed 220 the day I flew to Hawaii for vacation. That was 2 months ago. 

220 is no exciting number...but it’s better than the 250 pounds I weighed at the end of October of 2017. November through February I ate a strict diet, took an absorbent amount of supplements, and focused on getting rid of Candida and getting healthy. I didn’t plan on returning from Hawaii to a severe bout of depression. I had no idea my abandonment of my healthy diet & supplements for two months would totally reverse all the progress I had made. I refuse to step on a scale and witness the degree of failure...feeling this bad is proof enough I have to pick myself up, dust myself off...and try again.

Today was day one. I got through the day sticking to a low carb diet. I took all of my supplements. I drank half my body weight in ounces of water. I feel great. I’m so excited I made it through the day without cheating. I’m grateful that I hardest part is over...getting past the never ending ‘I’ll start tomorrow’ routine...cause tomorrow was today.