A mouse's tale.
I always have good intentions and the day slips away from me and the housework piles up. For being a housekeeper by profession you would think my house would be CLEAN. Yesterday morning I woke up late and moseyed down to the couch and turned on the TV. First step into being unproductive let me tell you. I knew I had family coming over in the evening for a BBQ, but I had plenty of time to clean the house and pick up the yard. The TV is strange, because there can be NOTHING on and yet you still get sucked in for hours. It's best to never turn it on if you have any aspirations of accomplishing things. I felt zero motivation, and I started to negotiate in my mind a way to clean only what had to be done for the get together vs. doing what I should do. Sully called and we were chatting when I heard the horrifying sound of claws scratching on the wall behind the couch. My biggest fears were confirmed when both my cats showed up to investigate. It was a mouse. In my house. I got off the phone with Sully and I called for backup. Aiden came in with his trusty fishing net and we turned over every piece of furniture we could, the mouse was always one step ahead. Sadly we did not catch the mouse, but there was no getting out of my work after the mess Aiden and I made trying to capture it!
As 4:00 rolled around and the entire house was spotless I realized the gross inconvenience just may have been a blessing in disguise. Kind of like that rancid beaver. Wonder why my lessons keep coming in the form of gross rodents?! Sometimes for me it's just starting something that is the hardest part. Once I'm on a roll I'm golden. Whether it be housework, or weight loss, or just forming good habits in life.
Speaking of weight loss. I lost 8.8 pounds this past month. 10 pounds a month is not as easy as it sounds, and although I was significantly close to my goal and feel great I still found myself strangely discouraged when I hit the scale. I recognized the feeling as familiar, I've experienced it before. I have climbed my fair share of mountains (literally) and I know when you are making your way up, if you fixate on the top and how far away it is, that overwhelming feeling of discouragement can make you want to just quit. Sit down and settle for the mediocre view. Standing on the scale and seeing 210.4 I just saw how far I still have to go. And even though I have hard evidence I'm losing weight, my clothes are not as loose as I had anticipated, and I feel like I must be dealing with some inflammation cause my face is rounder than it has been. The negatives are like ropes that tangle and choke out the positives. The more negatives you allow the more they strangle. I have consistently met my daily activity goals. I have daily met my carb goals. I have daily met my water consumption goals. I am slowly, steadily losing weight. I am loved, supported, and cherished by an amazing husband who EVERY SINGLE DAY tells me how beautiful I am. I have two amazing kids who praise me for giving up soda & for eating healthy, who even offer not to eat their goodies in front of me so I'm not tempted. I have a Heavenly Father who extends immense amount of grace to me even when I sit in my ungratefulness and self loathing...always wanting more and not being grateful for what I have. I am blessed. I need to stop allowing the negative to squander the good in my life, and keep pushing forward.
I gave myself a week off, not to indulge physically, but to mentally not think about weight loss. It's almost a fasting from fixation on self. A re-aligning to the bigger picture. I am going to weigh in again on July 15th a month from today. My goal is to be 200 pounds or less.
I need to continue to find the reasons to celebrate. The gifts hidden in the mess. There seems to be lots of disappointments swirling in my mind lately, and I need to adjust my attitude to find the lessons, find the joy, find the gratitude. Negativity spreads like a disease to the soul. There is so much to be thankful for. Life is Good. God is Good. All the time. You just have to see it.
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