Skip to main content

Day Seven

Life. It’s always throwing you curve balls. I’ve had this crazy lymph node on my neck off and on for nearly two years. The last time I went in to have it checked they sent me for a mammogram, and the mammogram showed something peculiar requiring an ultrasound and neither could determine if there was cause to worry or not, so now here we are again. Square One. The lymph node on my neck is back and they want me to go back for a mammogram as soon as possible. All while waiting on blood test results to rule out leukemia or lymphoma. Sitting in a sterile room, while people toss around the C word, all I could think about was my mom. Watching cancer eat her alive, open wounds bleeding and rotting, tumors starting in her lymphatic system and pushing through to her skin. The things we saw are burned into our memories, memories we all fight to stay hidden, untapped because they are to painful, to raw to process. Yet as I watch the needle draw blood, all I can wonder is...is it my turn?


Aside from that very emotionally taxing dr. appointment today I got a lot accomplished. I got the goat pen finished and ready for our new addition Cricket. I even moved a crazy heavy horse mat from my brothers barn to my goat pen...all by myself! (The doctor noticed I ruptured a tricep muscle in my left arm, maybe that’s why I struggled so much with it?!) I cleaned house, did dishes, laundry, made dinner, and dealt with Cricket the escape artist...maybe I shouldn’t be in charge of the goat pen construction 😂 Busy day! But I still found time to eat healthy, drink plenty of water...making it through day seven like a boss! One week down...feeling good!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

'Our identity drives our actions'

Depression is not a one size fits all. There are so many variations of it. Mild Depression, Clinical Depression, Circumstantial Depression, Post Partum Depression. There are hundreds of thousands of books written on it. There are numerous medications to treat it. There are varying opinions on it. I can only speak on my experience with depression. I can only display my garment of misery, and it may not look or feel like yours. I am not offering up medical advice, or a miracle cure...just my story. I used to think you could simply power on into life, leaving your hardships behind. Almost like a snake sheds its skin, I too could molt my past and slither on into a new beginning. Life unfortunately doesn't work that way. I don't think the snake analogy is all that wrong though. After all isn't the purpose of a snake sloughing it's skin to allow growth? A shed is only a layer of the snakes skin, and the underlying skin is much healthier and vibrant once the shed is c...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day Ninety ~ One-hundred and forty-six

I recently watched an episode of North Woods Law. There was a woman who hiked the Appalachian Trail and had disappeared. Her husband, authorities, and volunteers searched for weeks, following many promising leads...but ultimately they came up empty handed. It was years later they learned that she had walked off the trail to use the restroom and got turned around. She decided to stop after wandering aimlessly for miles and hoped that help would come. She set up camp and tried to survive on what little rations she had. She was found deceased in her sleeping bag, sadly just mere miles from a logging road that led to civilization.  Even though you know the outcome, you still find yourself desperate for a better ending. I have had my share of scares, wandering off the beaten path into the woods. One time in particular I was with my parents moose hunting, the fog set in making it hard to determine what direction you were headed. The Alaska landscape didn't help either, everything...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day one-hundred and seventy-five

One of those days. To each and every one of us ‘those’ holds a different meaning…however, when this phrase is uttered we somehow all understand and empathize. Generally, no details are even needed. We can pull from the bushel of our ‘those days’ and just nod . I feel ya buddy. I’ve had those too.   Friday was one of those days. Sometimes I wonder how often when you argue with your spouse, how much of your genuine irritation is directly aimed and your significant other or if a good portion of it is projected. Today I would have to humbly admit that most of my annoyance with Sully was really at myself… and his uncanny ability to point that out to me in a way that causes the little lightbulb dangling above my oblivious head to illuminate. I hate it when that happens. When you feel all justified and you are prancing around on your regal high horse and some peasant has the nerve to knock you off! Then when you know you’re wrong instead of just raising the white flag of peace yo...
Post a Comment
Read more